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7/30/13

Delusional Sea Cow

BUY PRINT

Dear Person On The Internet That Continually Calls Me A Delusional Sea Cow,

Is that really all you got? Am I supposed to be insulted? Because when you say sea cow, I think of a cute, squishy ocean animal with adorable little fins and forgiving eyes. I think of the manatees I sponsored in kindergarten, the one I went home and cried about when the teacher told me that they were being hit by boats. The sweethearts of the water that are so friendly they get too close to what is most dangerous to them.

I know you are trying to make me feel like I have no right to my feelings and that you know better. That you think that I am going to drop dead tomorrow unless I change my ways even though you have no facts about my health or habits to back up your claims. You are trying to degrade me. But I think you failed. Because I just keep picturing this femme floating through the water with a flower crown and rosey cheeks. She is sassy and self-assured but maybe a little confused. See, she is delusional because she believes that people want to treat other people with respect. She falsely assumes that she is safe from fucking idiots like you.

Yours, Delusional Sea Cow
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